did you guys know, that i hate to capitalize letters? i like the look of the little letters. i dont usually use caps for anything really. not even when im writing on paper. anywho, i hate this no junk food january. i agree with you Skeleton Strong, that i wouldnt binge if i was allowed some junk food. but its no junk food january. so i can have none. uggghhh. also thank you for the comment mandagin. :)
i think since this is already hell. might as well make it worse. i think im going to do a 7 day fruit/veggie fast. well, at least seven days. it might suck. but it wont be too bad if i already cant have junk food. who knows. maybe i'll break this artificial sugar addiction i have. although i wont give up diet coke. so who knows. lol.
i took a caffeine pill this morning. cause i've been falling asleep during school. and i had the runs, alllllll daaayyy. its terrible. my stomach hurts. and i cant stop pooping! lol. i suppose thats good though. cause again, today was bad. it started this morning. before i realized the caffeine pill was giving me runs, i wondered why my stomach hurt so bad. so i decided to eat. some crackers. about 200 calories of crackers. then at lunch i proceeded to have a jello, about 170 calories of crackers, and an orange. and then in foods class i had a big bowl of pumpkin soup which was loaded with calories. i did avoid the fresh batch of cookies on the kitchen table when i came home, and i did avoid the angle food cake with chocolate frosting in foods class. but once home, i remembered i cant have junk food. so i panic. then i get 3 gramcrackers, 210 calories, and then some cereal, 100 calories and then some more crackers! 170 calories. and i didnt even think to purge. i was just like "aaahhh food" then like 10 minutes later i was like "what have i doneee!" i might purge anyways. so it doesnt all get digested. no wonder im up to 127.
fuck fuck fuck.
okay. i got this.
right? i just need to step back and think. i keep mindlessly eating. thats not okay. tell me its not okay.
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ReplyDeletei just saw your comment, and girl hit me up with your number i need some motivation!
ReplyDeletemy day was...very similar to yours. mindless eating. this lack of self control has to end.
I'd do ABC with you(: i actually wanna do a fast and there's a couple included in there, right?
i'm still getting above 200 cals a day. boo. so a solid PLAN and buddy will be great! (:
think thin, girl! we can do this!