my legs look chunky. but thats cause my yoga pants are rolled up.this is me today, after swimming in life guard training.
this is my orange suit for life guard training.
i got hit on today. :3he said im hot. thats so nice.
i broke my fast yesterday. i know i cant reach 119 by tuesday. but i got close. im not actually mad. i mean i'll still try. but i wont be upset if i dont make it. cause in december i was stuck at 125. so now im at 122. im not mad. i can lose this. i want to be 117 pounds by april 13th. (when i see my chemical romance) and i'll do that. im just not going to stress about making or not making 119. i will make that sometime in febuary though. :)
dont be disappointed, kay?
i didnt eat till i came home. then i ate a shit ton of granola. and some yogurt. then a lot of cereal. it is my enemy. literally.
i was 122.5 today though. after like three sodas and a sobe water. so idk.
sundays are huge breakfast days at my dads. *sigh*
so that girl you know. the one who is "ana" and tells everyone im fasting? well, yesterday i watched her scarf down a little more than 500 calories while i enjoyed my diet coke.
in her face!
lol.
she was telling me shes "only" 130 pounds.
one, you say your anorexic?
two, honey, theres no way you are ONLY 130 pounds. 140 maybe.
i need some more motivation. but since life guard training has started i dont want to cut anymore. but it helps so much.
im so torn. i dont know what to do.
ughhh.
and im fat. i feel huge. probably because in the span of 25 minutes i devoured like 500 caloires. fuck me and my piggy ways.
hellllloooo new followers! 83. not shabby at all.
i love you all. :)
and if im not following you and you'd like me to be. lemme know.
well, thats all i suppose.
its friday night and i have no friends to chill with.
ps. i just took five laxatives. the box said two is good.
looks like im gonna be shitting my intestines out at three in the morning.
ack! i took 2 ExLax at work today...I feel yer pain. i like your bracelets :)
ReplyDeleteyou look so tiny in your picture!! you should definitely be proud you're doing so well!
ReplyDeletexx
i'm falling asleep. about to go to bed. but then i realized i never commented on this. i love love love your bracelets. i hate hen people go on about how they're fasting/restricting/forget to eat&then eat a day's worth of calories in a few minutes. but i've done it before. so i shouldn't judge..but i judge anyway. cheers for getting hit on&that lifeguard training outfit is super cute on you. stay strong, babygirl. &please know that i'm jealous of your being 5'5". i wish i were shorter. sorry for the long comment.
ReplyDeletexoxo
zette
Judge. Whatever though, because we've all had days when we're being judged.[see todays blog to judge me]. You look fab dude, I see NO tummy in that suit. ;)
ReplyDeleteCongrats on the boy, I love when that happens. I would send you skinnies, but today you've totally got them! Love love.
I love how good you look! like, seriously I said wow. I guess the bracelets are to cover up the cuts? Don't worry about the bad night, maybe you'll just poop it out
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