saw a movie today. the social network. it was okay.
my abs fucking hurt today. so bad. and i cant cough or sneeze or laugh, or lay down or sit up. it hurts. thats good though. i hope im getting thinner. i need to do some cardio. i've only been doing abs. no duah they'd fucking hurt today.
with my friends today. ate more than i should have. im such a dummy.
i havent totaled my day. so lets do it now i guess.
hot cocoa-75
peanut butter-100
wheat thins-180
fruit snacks- 100
fruit roll up- 50
noodles/soup- 90
popcorn- 200
yogurt- 250
that equals 1045
but i feel like i ate more.
so lets add 200 calories for good measure.
1,245
and i only burned 120
so 1125
ughhh.
tomorrow wont be the best. sundays i have breakfast at my dads. i guess i could purge. thats always really hard to do there though.
i'll try and behave as well as i can.
i need to be thin.
one of my friends had an ed. and its "coming back". and so i was testing the waters with her. seeing if i could talk to her about any of this. and so i was all "i support your decisions" blah blah. and then i really thought i could have her support me then she goes "dont ever do this. i'll tell your grandma..." blah blah. so much for that. she told me she ate only 250 calories today. and that shes going to only drink tea from now on. bull shit. she cant confide in me, if i cant confide in her.
i didnt cut today. thanks to zette.
i hate exercising. i really truly do. once im in the act of. its fine. but i hate starting it.
im gonna go to sleep soon. i am so fucking tired.
i wish i would go exercise some more. but i cant. i hate it. fuck me.
im going to be fat forever. maybe i will go exercise...
i dont know.
ughhh.
i should. i might.
cramps today. im so bloated. i cant wait till this time of the month is over. to see how thin im actually getting. im gonna get thin. i will. i can finally do this!
:)
thank you for the lovely comment. i had about the same amount of cals today too haha. i used to HAAATE working out...but having an ipod with all your favorite, most fast paced music really helps...
ReplyDeletewell music-wise i guess it depends what you like! i usually listen to indie stuff but i like some electronic and radio crap when i work out: daft punk, black eyed peas, rihanna...it's all about a good beat, something you can focus on and move your legs to. some songs that really get me going: "time to pretend" by mgmt, "power" by kanye west, "raining men" by rihanna, "lover i don't have to love" by bright eyes...hope that helps a little!!
ReplyDeletei looooove when my abs are that sore its like a reminder all day.
ReplyDeleteon the cals it was little stuff all day so at least you boosted your metabolism.
plus you burn 1500 every day (that includes your basic daily exercise like walking and stuff)
so 1500 - 1125 still gives you a good deficit. don't be too discouraged!
and girl i saw you today you're looking great! if i was you i would feel proud lol!
Oh the aching abs feeling :( <3 I remember it so well, and I want it back.
ReplyDeleteThank you for just motivating me into doing a ton of crunches before sleep!
It's horrible that you can't talk to your friend about it, but to be honest, if she's being so very open with someone she thinks doesn't have an ED, she's probably a bit of an attention seeking, selfish bitch. I don't mean that as horribly as it probably sounds, because I know she's still your friend, and I would encourage you not to distance yourself from friends, but irritating, no?
At least you have us <3.
And as you say, 122 may not be 112, but all you have to do is change the middle number by one digit. You can do it :) x
I hate exercising, too. I spend the last hour of my day at work DREADING the workout I'm going to do when I get home. Sucks. I wish I liked it...
ReplyDeleteSorry about your friend. I don't think that's fair of her.
xoxo