You must first be who you really are, then do what you need to do, in order to have what you want.

hey girls,

last night was really fun. went to my "first typical teenage party". lol. if you know what i mean. like the ones always in movies. haha. it was fun. i got super drunk and made out with some guy. haha. also kissed some girl. haha.

i was really hung over and slept a lot today. then around 7 my friends mom invited me to dinner. so i went out with them. had a veggie burger and fries, and a little ice cream. a little while ago i had a slice of pizza too. so todays intake isnt too bad.

my sister has been with me like every waking moment that im home so i havent been exercising well lately. but i will. i want to get back in shape. i'll help me feel better about myself, in general.

well, i have some serious catching up to do on your blogs. so off i go. :)
i hope your doing well.

ps. im addicted to pictures of quotes.

wow. its been a while.

hey guys. god. its been a while. im sorry for just leaving like that. i dont know. i just didnt feel like blogging.
been depressed.
me and dom broke up.
i miss him.
i wish we didnt break up, though it was mutual when it happened.
i really miss him. :/

im around 129. no change. i havent been trying.

i've gained some friends since i have last talked to you guys. which is nice.

made out with tyler again. it was awesome. he was drunk. i was little tipsy. he apparently "doesnt remember" that entire night. whatever i guess. im not gonna bring it up. cause im pretty sure he does remember, and wants to forget. he still has a girlfriend. a girlfriend of two years.

me and one of my best guy friends (who i suspect is gay) are going to a party tonight. gonna get drunk. should be fun.

i'll be updating more frequently. i was out of a computer for a while. i had been using my sisters. so i couldnt really blog.

my moms outta jail.

i started cutting again.

i've told a few people im really depressed. i told one person i started cutting again. why? i dont know. maybe i want help. maybe i want some one to say "it'll be okay" and then take my problems away from me.

i got all my hair cut off. like all of it. its short. and when i want to, i can put it in a mohawk. lol. its fun. i LOVE short hair. i hate the feeling of hair touching my neck.

god i miss dom.

my sister got kicked outta school until shes "evaluated by a psychiatrist". she also stopped eating. shes around 102ish. its not fair. shes about my height. but a little more than two years younger. *sigh*
and of course every one cares about her, they love her, they give her nothing but support. i mean she deserves support. but i feel like since no one notices my problems, they dont really know me or care. but then again there are times when i loveeee that no one knows what i do to myself. that no one knows the secrets i keep. but hey.

you should go on sixbillionsecrets.com i love that website.


anyways i gotta go.

this was just a little update. i love you all. thanks for stickin' with me through it all, and through my absence. much love forever. <3