thanks for all the comments you guys. much love to you.
(Eager Enid, Sofia, Ell, Izzy, Olivia Lee, Kitty, Amy, and ChrissieMadIpod) you know who you are. :3
it did turn out to be water weight. and as that time of the month is passing i am down to 122.5 again. what a relief. but i also ended up cutting yesterday. so now my brain thinks cutting is associated with weight loss. great. just what i need.
and whats probably bad is, i dont feel guilty. i used to feel guilty. now its almost.. pride. i feel accomplished. it doesnt even hurt anymore. its a pointless thing to be doing. but i cant seem to stop.
anyways. it was water weight. also, im fasting. till i get to 119.
liquid fast (not like soup or anything), just drinks.
i had a sobe life water zero calories
and i had a can of diet coke
and now im having two servings of 25 calorie hot chocolate. which is kinda cheating.. but i dont care. one serving is 3/4 a cup. so i decided to have two for only fifty calories.
my mom is very sneaky with packing extra calories into a dish. her mashed potatoes used to include: butter, milk, potatoes, sour cream, and cream cheese. like mixed in. so you dont know its there. she claims i "need the extra calcium" damn woman! i'll take a vitamin then! alas, she is in prison, so she cannot do this to me anymore. but she likes to pack extra calories into everything.
today was the first day of second semester. i have two art classes. ceramics and art metals. and then all the usual. biology, english. blah blah.
i got sucked into that girls ego again. she was talking about fasting. and i ended up mentioning that im fasting for a while. "to cleanse my body" yeah right.
and so at lunch today she announces to the whole table that me and her are liquid fasting.
what the fuck?
im like done with her. i cant deal with her bull shit anymore. shes not even that great of a friend.
blah.
you think i can get to 119 before February first? that would be grand.
also, thanks for all the comments on my tummy picture in my last post. it made me feel like im not such a disgusting cow.
do you guys count the calories in gum? cause i had a fuck ton of gum today.
much love.
<3
I think you can reach that goal!
ReplyDeleteI don't count gum but I make sure I'm chewing it constantly to burn those carlories. And I looove Sobe 0 cal water. It's the best.
Much love back : )
I nom on a heck of a lot of gum and never gain any weight. Probably because you burn calories while chewing it, and it stops you from eating out of boredom. Also, if you eat enough, it acts as a laxative so any calories you DO gain will soon be flushed out. :)
ReplyDeletePs: Thanks for mentioning me in this post. :)
Okay, what? I was going to mention gum in my post today. I totally don't, but I usually add 10-20 "extra" calories to my total at the end of the day, just in case I miss a nibble or two.
ReplyDeleteAlso, totally called the period bloat. Yay! I'm sorry about the cutting though, I know sometimes it can just feel like that need that eats you up until you have to give in :/ Be strong, you can reach your 119 goal!
You're so close!! Keep it up <3
ReplyDeleteYou can totally reach 119 by February 1st!
ReplyDeleteThat girl sounds like she's a bit much--it might be better to distance yourself from her. You deserve GOOD friends! <3
xoxo
you can definitly be 119 by then!
ReplyDeleteand i never count gum, i dont know why. but i feel like if you chew it long enough you already burned the calories you took in.
also, that sounds like some scary mashed potatoes.
stay lovely. <3
119 is a good goal for then. and be glad you haven't escalated past cutting. not long after everything started for me I ended a 5 day fast with the worst binge ever and I couldn't manage to purge. So i punished myself with a lighter and a couple 3rd degree burns.
ReplyDeleteIm sorry about the female friend. She sounds like a pain in the ass. I would've told her to sit down and shut the fuck up; and if anyone asked~ if teachers find out they'd be concerned and call home~ thats the best excuse to give other people its just vague enough to not let on, but it clicks with everyone.
When i liquid fast i allow hot choc, best i've found is "skinny cow" hot choc. You can get mint choc too (: I don't cound the cals in gum either but i tend to only have it once in a while!
ReplyDeleteThat girl seems like an idiot. I had a friend like that, you need to tell her to back off. It's none of her business, and deffinately not her place to tell everyone about what you're doing!
Had a look at your last blog post and your tummy is amazing. I'm so jealous!! you look sooo amazing! I think 115 is a good goal to account for any standstils or plateaus!
Sorry for the long comment! Just one more thing, check this post of mine
http://prettyproslim.blogspot.com/2011/01/dont-wanna-hurt-anymore.html
It's got you in it, something i think you'll like (: xx
you are totally going to make 119 easy, I bet youll even surpass it! At least your mom thinks you looked malnurished. If one more person says i look "healthy" which is a euphamism for fat haha ill scream
ReplyDelete