Monday, January 17, 2011

bad

im still sick. lots of diarrhea and coughing and fevers. im not sure whats going on. my chest hurt unbelievably bad last night.

im feeling slightly better. but my 125.5 weight almost made me cry. its okay. im sick. its okay, right? fuck.

its all this cereal. ive been sick, so i've only been eating cereal. fuck fuck fuck. its fine. its fine. things will get better. they will. they have to.

i need to finish that painting by thursday. but im getting no where. and exams start wednesday. so i need to study the rest of tonight and tomorrow. fuck me. i was supposed to do some extra credit for Honors Biology too, due tomorrow. but its too hard. oh, also i need to correct a paper that i got a 33/55 on. yay.
and to top that off, im still sick! ah yes! awesome january. thank you for being a dick.

i got a new dvd. its Jackie Warner's Xtreme Timesaver Training. its really hard. my muscles are sore. and i actually had to pause the dvd about five times. burned about 300 calories in 30 minutes. not bad at all.

i feel like my boyfriend and my relationship is getting... weak. we havent been spending too much time together lately. which used to be okay. because the time to my self kept me on track for my weight goals and such. but now when we do hang out. we get annoyed with each other. and we havent had sex in forever. and we dont kiss as much as we used to. im so sad. i really dont want to lose him. i hope my wanting to get thin isnt messing us up...
what should i do? im so worried.

5 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you're sick; perhaps you have the flu. That's what I had all last week! Drink lots of fluids, and don't beat yourself up too much about the weight gain. I eat cereal when I'm sick, too. You have to eat to help yourself get better. You can worry about restricting/losing later.
    <3

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  2. i hope you feel better! and good luck with exams. im sorry about the problem with your boy, but i dont have the best advice on that.

    <3

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  3. I hope you get better soon! Sucks being sick for a long time.

    I dunno what advice to give about the boy. Are YOU happy with him? If not, then maybe the relationship is just coming to its natural end. If you are happy though and don't want to lose him, then there is a chance that the food issues are becoming an issue between the two of you. It's a tough situation. Maybe try and talk to him about everything?

    xoxoxo

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  4. If you are happy with your boyfriend and want to be with him for a long time (or forever) it requires work. Just do your part as a girlfriend, work at it, including sex, and see where it goes. If he doesn't appreciate it then it's not meant to be but lets hope he does. keep your chin up <3

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  5. Being sick makes everything feel worse. But I promise once you start feeling better, everything will get better. Hopefully you and your boyfriend can work things out, trying talking to him about all of the things that have changed maybe?

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