i am a slacker. in all areas of my life.
and im fat. i am a fat slacker.
january i was 122 pounds.
today. today i am 131 pounds.
...
i dont even know what to say...
nine pounds? nine fucking pounds? are you shitting me?!
fuck!!! fuck fuck fuck fuck.
march is a no junk food month. with january this really helped me get down. so it will be fine. this will be okay. i know i've fucked up big time. but i will fix this. it will be okay.
mandagin is going to help me. as always, shes my rock. :)
the boy trouble have calmed. or actually... i've given up. which is good cause it was the hope that hurt. me and dom still boring. i still feel like theres no real spark anymore. but im going to keep trying. and i have stopped talking to tyler. so this will be okay. it will be.
and maybe if i get thin i can have something great. some new love. some new life. some new opportunity. because being thin will be awesome.
im going to go ounce by ounce, pound by pound. i need to not be discouraged so quickly. i give up and give in so quick. but i wont. this will be good.
and im going to start drawing again. and blogging more. and being more productive and artsy.
things will get better. i guess i realized how shitty things were.. now that im fat....
fuck.
its okay its okay. i can get back down.
im so ashamed to admit to you girls how much weight i've gained. but i need to tell you. and i will lose it. you should hold me to that.
I really think blogging/reading our blogs more often will help you. It helps me anyway, because you have people counting on you for support and hope for support in return. We won't give up on you! :)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Cat. Blogging with you all has motivated me to be more strict with myself while still having a community of people for support. We never give up on you, we always support you, no matter what your eating choices are. Sending you skinnies darling, I hope you find your way soon.
ReplyDeleteI want to lose 9Ibs for my birthday - 11days away, you want to lose the 9Ibs you've gained - we can so do this!! I love your positive attitude, it makes me feel positive too so thank you.
ReplyDeleteX
lax works. it makes you shit calories xx
ReplyDeleteyay for being more artsy!! good luck w/ your abc i'm here anytime you need me :)
ReplyDeletewe can do this.
yeaaaaaaaah we got this.
ReplyDeletei'm so excited :) woo gettin' skinny.
i hope your ABC goes well. I hope my fasting goes well. but if not, we'll pick ourselves up and keep on truckin'.
no matter what, keep trying. and stay excited and motivated. i got your back! :)