like me you are human, after all, and we know what a joy and terror that is.

hey.

i had a few grapes for breakfast.
then an orange for lunch.
then 1.5 bananas when i came home.
a little yogurt.
an apple.
some nuts.
then three and a half pieces of pizza.

i hung out with ike today. we watched blades of glory, then went to his friend shawns house. we watch "The Town" it was so long. but awesome as fuck. then as the movie has like twenty minutes left, tyler shows up. being a dick. i have realized i am nothing special, no exception. tyler is an ass hole. even to his friends. that is who he is. dom calls while im here. and hes so upset with me. why? because i told him i didnt want to see him... or anyone. i was just trying to make him feel better by saying "i dont want to see you this week. dont take it personally. i dont wanna see anyone" so hes pissed. he thinks im cheating on him. i am not cheatING...

so i get home around 11. my grandma is pissed. since its a school night. and i have an ass load of home work.
i eat three home made cookies with ice cold milk, and do my chemistry home work. oh joy.
dom is still upset. im not going to cut tonight. i panic. and i hyperventilate. so i run down stairs, to my grandma (who i live with cause my moms in jail, in case you forgot), and i break down crying. she knows this is a panic attack. it just hasnt happened in a while. i cry and cry and she holds me and talks to me. and rubs my head. i calm down. once calm i realize she is still touching me and i get up to go upstairs. i grab some pringles and some cheeze-its. i come up here, crack a diet coke and eat. defiantly not as much as i could have. but more than i should have.

so here i am. so much homework left to do. a huge math project due friday. belly full of food. headache. tired. out of time. drained.