so since my kidneys hurt i did nothing. but then my appetite came back and i still did nothing, nothing but eat. so im very upset. the scale is at 130 pounds. oh. my. fucking. god.
but im trying to take a breath. because i KNOW i will get it under control. but i have been really sick. and i just, needed to eat i guess. so i dont care, for the time being. im really hating my body. but i am still sick. so im sorta just, eah. trying to not flip out. i havent even been eating shit. ive just been eating. so i will get it under control. so it will be okay, right?
i just need to stop hurting to exercise and such.
is this understandable, or am i just being a fat cow?
honesty please.
i have 30 followers. :) love all you guys!
i had a very very rough night. me and my boy had a fight. like, not like yelling or i hate you, or i'll leave you. but he said, some... very very hurtful things to me. and i couldnt even retaliate. i couldnt. he gave me a panic attack. and i couldnt stop crying. i have bags under my eyes today. :/
i dont know. im fat, and im sad. what a bad time!
Those fights are sometimes the worst.
ReplyDeletePlease know that I'm thinking about you! I can tell you have a beautiful mind by how you write. and it's okay to eat. it's always okay to eat. we aren't hear to throw rocks at you for that. we're hear for support! if eating is what you need right now, then go for it!
It WILL all work out. The weight is probably water weight, or the fact that you're sick could effect it as well. Don't be upset!
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry your boyfriend said harsh things to you. I think we've all been through that and know how hard it is to sit and listen when you're being criticized. :[
Try and feel better before you worry about losing more weight.
Sometimes one needs to eat a bit of something just to fall in love with the feeling of hunger again. It works with me at least.
ReplyDeleteThings will get better. ;)
sorry you're sick. that can really put a damper on weight. but i'm sure you'll do great as soon as you're better. hang in there, darling.
ReplyDeletexoxo
zette
p.s. i'm jealous of your height. &thanks for your sweet comment. made my evening better.