in the longest fucking time my weight as not got above 131. it did today. i mean i was fully clothed. but thats a cheap excuse. i need help girls. everything as seemed different since one specific date in time when i had the worst panic attack ever. i got high. and it was a baddddd trip. and it hurt so bad. like it hurt my chest and my head, and everything. and since then everything has been weird. like everything, i dont know how many calories i've been eating, i cant sleep, and even sex with my boyfriend doesnt feel good. and i just cant seem to focus. i've lost my way. so i need help.
how many calories should i eat a day. i mean i know thats a stupid question. but how many? should i eat breakfast? gah. this is stupid.
what is considered a binge? i really dont know anymore. in all seriousness.
and i've come to realize i have started to fear pain. of any sort. i cant purge anymore. because i dont want it to hurt. i dont exercise too hard because i dont want to be sore. and im ashamed of this. but its true. i used to love the pain. but im so scared of it.
and i cant focus anymore. i just want to be thin. today, i ate so much. so so so much. just all day. what ever i wanted. all day. and about half an hour ago i weighed myself and i was 136. i dont feel this is possible. but i have eaten all fucking day. and didnt exercise yesterday or today. i dont know what to do.
im not sure what you can do to help. advice would be nice. how do you go about your day? i just need to know how to get back into the rhythm of ana. please.
I'm sorry : (
ReplyDeleteI think you should start slowly and work your way down to eating less and less so you don't just binge again. Try getting out of the house and away from temptation.
distractions distractions distractions.
Try eating 1200 calories a day. It's a good amount because it's realistic, but enough to lose weight. I wouldn't skip breakfast because it gets your metabolism going... but you could try drinking hot water with a small breakfast because it's supposed to really speed up your metabolism (+ it makes you feel full, and no calories!)
ReplyDeleteI measure a binge on how I feel. When I feel so full I could puke, or if I'm just eating for the sake of eating, that's a binge for me.
You'll be alright lovely. You are a strong person so fight through the pain, and maybe you'll learn to love it again. I hope things get better for you.
Love, B x
Bali's right on breakfast being important. I always eat breakfast - it's the one meal I just can't skip or my whole day sucks. I've heard that a glass of water with a pinch of cayenne pepper also speeds up your metabolism. And chugging a glass of warm water (not hot, just lukewarm) will make you feel full for a long time.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your response to the tarot card post! There's a list of all the cards and their basic meanings here: http://www.aeclectic.net/tarot/learn/meanings/
It's pretty much a regular deck of cards like playing cards, only with 1 extra card in each suit, and then there's the 22 major arcana.
If you want a diet buddy, I'd love to chat! It's hard to do it all on your own. You can email me if you want: bellatrixburrows [at] hotmail [dot] com
xxx
hey, you're not alone alright? i think our weight just gets stagnant for a while after losing some of it.. we can choose to eat or not eat, but we'll the scale will just read about the same numbers. still, dont eat too much! control. just for this while..
ReplyDeletemay we lose more soooooon! xx
I smoke a lot and have panic attacks a lot. I'm on meds for anxiety. And I've realized that when I panic when I'm high, it's only because of underlying anxiety that's already there; the weed just brings it out.
ReplyDeleteIt sounds to me like you need some form of therapy. This doesn't have to mean talking to a professional. But it does mean changing your daily habits. Like, start a journal of only positive thoughts. Write down 5 things in your life that have made you happiest. Truly happy. Not grateful.
Shit like that.
I hope you work it out. :)
omg, i had bad trips when i smoked pot too. i thought i was dying and i forgot how to speak!!!
ReplyDeletethe sex drive tones down a lot, when you starve yourself so maybe thats why. i would say please eat breakfast because it boosts the metabolism for the day and skip dinner.
a binge is a more mental/emotional thing. a binge to me used to be one cookie and i'd be sooo guilty or its usually when you keep eating after your full.
after a binge day if i dont purge, i ease into a fast by eating a low calorie breakfast the next day and then nothing the rest of the day for a couple days and then when i fast i drink a cup of almond milk in the morning and do lighter exercise if not strenuous. thats what i do, not saying you should do it though.
take care and feel better <333