i havent weighed myself in ages. and im bigger. i really am. i can feel it coating my bones. i havent been able to control my eating. im so depressed. and all i want to do is eat and sleep.
school as been lonely as fuck. and it makes me want to try everyday. i have no one in any classes and my boyfriend doesnt have the lunch hour i have. so i dont bring a lunch, then i sit in the bathroom and try not to cry because im so lonely. my boys been ignoring me for the most part. hes busy with his friends. i mean he answers my calls and such, but he doesnt spend time with me.
im just so sad and fucking hate every inch of myself. my body. my personality. my face. everything.
im sorry its been so long, as i said all ive been doing is eating and sleeping. i honestly thought this year would be like last school year. classes with friends, lunch with my favorite person, my boyfriend, and weight loss. but im just so sad, i cant.
sorry i havent updated, i havent even read your blogs. but dont worry, i love you all. and i'll try to post more often.
how are you all?
Books and music are always good to get lost in and kill time? Is there something you like to do that you could focus on? Any chance you could make some new friends? If all else fails you could use lunch to get in some extra exercise?
ReplyDeleteDon't give up!!!
sleep > eat.. give your boyfriend his space, don't wanna get over possessive. it's not good :) just food for thought! ^^ keep your fingers on the keyboard to update more often, this prevents your hand from reaching out to the food on the table!
ReplyDeletexx
I'm so sorry you're feeling so down, but I know exactly what you mean. I hate myself too, and I've been slowly pushing all my friends away because of my ED, so I know exactly how you feel about loneliness. Just know that you're not alone and you always have your followers on here if nothing else. We're always here if you need to talk or vent!
ReplyDelete<3, Issyla