so its April. which means i can eat junk food again. and i've been doing bad again.
tomorrow i start swimming again in school. i do not want to. i am so fat. seriously. i will honestly embarrass myself. i just got home from school and weighed myself. 130.5
i've been in the 130's for a while now. god, i really took being 122 for granted. seriously. i am so upset.
i have a stye in my eye. it hurts so much.
i think i might take a bath. i need to shave my legs. but i hate being naked.
its almost a phobia. i hateeee being naked.
i havent eaten yet today. thats usually how my days start. then i binge hardcore. yeah. i fucking suck.
my moms back in jail.
my boyfriend dom doesnt want to be with me anymore.
my sister tried to commit suicide.
my body hates me.
my life sucks.
i am sad.
im sorry i havent been updating lately. i just dont know what to do with my time. i waste so much of it. fuck.
i want to sleep.
we started the poetry unit in school. i am really excited actually. i used to write poetry all the time. i think i may start again. that'd be a nice out lit.
thats fine for now.
thanks for sticking with me. i appreciate it more than you know. and your comments mean so much to me. :)
I want to make you in less pain. There are strange, awful things going on in your life now, and I want to make it less hurting. Honestly, just try to do one thing that makes you happy every day. Even if you feel like you don't deserve it. Go lay in a field, download some new music, whatever. Skinnies skinnies, if I find them I'll send them to you.
ReplyDeletei did the fast/binge at night thing for a while too. you can get out of it, dear. we're going to get on track together! i promise. i'm so sorry for how things have been going for. but things can only get better :)
ReplyDeletexoxo
It's funny, because 122 was a weight that I once reached and I totally ruined it. It was all my fault, and I shouldn't have taken it for granted either. I'm really sorry about all the things that are going on in your life. But if it no other way I can help, at least know that I'm here as support and to take care of you blog style. :)
ReplyDeleteKeep your chin up sweetie.
im sorry youre going through rough time. -hugs- i hope things look up, just remember, they will eventually. i love you, and you're beautiful. <3
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry to hear about your sister. I cannot imagine how you cope. We all have our moments but you, you strive. You are strong. You can't give up. Please don't give up. In the end, it will be worth it. Maybe not now, but later!
ReplyDeleteThe binges are hard I'm sure. I know that feeling. Your body is craving the food since you haven't fed it all day. It's a difficult step to get over but you will in time. It takes time.
Keep pushing and stay strong hun.
im so sorry for all the things that are going on in your life, you shouldn't have to deal with it. i hope it gets better for you <3
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry things aren't going well for you at the moment :/ I hope they get better soon.
ReplyDeleteI did the fast/binge thing too for a bit, but really, you can break the cycle :)
Stay strong,
Lottie x
Don't worry about not blogging too much you clearly have a lot on your plate right now but we are always here if you need someone to talk/rant to.
ReplyDeleteAs for the binge eating why don't try looking up some tips and tricks on how to stop binging and see if any of them will work for you ??
Hope everything gets better for you, Stay Strong.
Dotty
xx
Just remember, everything going down fast, is able to come right back up again.
ReplyDeleteYou've done it before, and I'm sure you can do it again girl!
I've nominated you for the Versatile Blogger award. Check my blog for details :]