tomorrow is december 6th

some time in February, of this year, is when all this started. that means in like two months, it'll be year. a whole fucking year and i've only lost 20 pounds. fuck. by February, i want to be 118. which means i'll have lost 25 pounds to date. that sounds like a nice number. which means i'll also be at my goal. the goal that i made February 2010. ( i actually wanted to be 117 but still) how much have you ladies lost since you started this journey? more than 20? gahhh. i need to be 117 or 118 by February. that'll be nice.
i told my boyfriend in February, that i'd be 117 by our 2 year anniversary in July. it didnt happen. so by the coming February, i can do it. i will. and i hope he'll be proud.

me and him were talking about my weight, and he asked how much i weigh, and i dont lie to him, so i told him 123. he was excited for me, because he knew how happy i was. then he added, that he doesnt need me any thinner, that hes okay with 123.

i think he feels bad that last summer he called me "overweight". he didnt say "youve gained a couple pounds" or even "you're fat" he fucking said "i think you're getting overweight"

oh my god how much i cried.

thats what started this really. i think he'd be sad to know he started my eating disorder, and that his compliments now fuel the flame.

so im starting 246 tomorrow, i've got an ana buddy. i'd like another though. anyone wanna text? i'd love that.
i hope to be 120 by the end of this week.


but i did terrible this past weekend. one day i ate 2,000 calories. so i'd guess im back up to 126ish. idk. i'll weigh tomorrow.

sooo, text me! :)
leave a comment and i'll give you my number.

have a nice night ladies.