Monday, June 20, 2011
you cant buy happiness---steal it
oh lordy lordy. haha. i've been up to a lot of bullshit. been going to a lot of concerts. going to a lot of parties. meeting a lot of people. lifes been good. but at a party i went to, there was a hot tub. it looked lovely. so lovely. and the girl whos party it was had an extra bikini. we were all drunk, so it doesnt matter, right? well they were all in the hot tub, and i went to put the bikini on. i put it on. and saw my reflection in the mirror, and honestly tried so hard not to cry. its an atrocious sight. so i took off the suite and put my clothes back on. and watched all these guys and girls pile into the warm hot tub. i realize that i cant keep going on the way i am. i cant just accept my body. its gonna chance. regardless of how long it takes, i will get to my goal of 117 pounds, or lower. it will fucking happen. since dom left me i've had a lot of time. so now i will spend this time not eating, and i will exercise everyday. tomorrow im starting the cabbage soup diet. so im hoping to lose some weight. my computer has been fucking shit. and if i dont have my own laptop, i cant blog. but its fixed now. and im back. im gonna go catch up on your blogs. im sorry i was gone for how long i was. i really really hope you all can accept me back and support me. much love forever <3 annie
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Those experiences are never fun, but at least something good came out of it! Hold on tight to your motivation and you'll make it :)
ReplyDeleteAnd don't worry about not posting for a while, it happens to everyone. I know I'm certainly erratic.
Good luck!
I'm sorry about the bikini. I'm sure you looked find, love. Just stay motivated, and stay strong <3
ReplyDeleteGod, I have so been there with the hot tub. I feel for you. I definitely was the girl with the retro one piece with gross thighs. You know what though, these experiences only make you stronger and more motivated, and when you finally love your body again, you'll be a success story. Much much love, have a great day. Do something nice for yourself, like paint your toes different colors.
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